Being Coachable

Are you coachable? That's the question a coach is silently asking during an initial conversation. What does that mean?

Recently I surprised myself by not being at all coachable on a particular issue I requested to work on. This has me thinking: what should coaches really be aware of and ask before agreeing to take on a new client.

Since coaching is all about effecting change, a prospective client must really want things to be different. Really wanting is not the same as being persuaded by external forces such as family, doctors, or societal norms and expectations. True desire to change is an internally felt pressure.

A coach should ask: on a scale of 1-10, where is your true desire for change?

Because coaching is oriented around moving forward, a prospective client must have a genuine willingness to name goals, design plans, and take action that is either self-generated, or co-created with the coach. Or clients must at least be willing to accept and follow through with the bold requests of the coach for a specific period of time. Willingness is the motive power that makes change happen.

A coach should ask: what priority does effecting this change have for you in relation to other priorities? In other words on a scale of 1-10, where is your genuine willingness to work for it?

Another key dynamic that should be addressed is the issue of resistance. Clients sometimes believe they want change and will say they are willing to work for it, but will have strong resistance to giving up old habits or changing self-sabotaging attitudes. Sometimes resistance signals a need for counseling rather than coaching. The question is, can the client honestly examine their resistance and experiment with what life would be like without those old habits and attitudes.

A coach should ask: what will sabotage you as you work towards your goal? Are you open to examining and experimenting with some different choices and perspectives?

In my personal and professional experience, the coachable client desperately wants change, is eagerly willing to work for it, is more than ready to examine their saboteurs and resistances, and is self-reflectively open to experimenting with new choices and possibilities.