Are you aware of how many ways you have of sabotaging yourself? Ever given this a thought?
I haven't taken a count lately, but I bet most of us have a kind of mental / emotional / behavioral backpack full of self-sabotaging habits. As I think back over the years of coaching and counseling clients to release worry, let go of guilt and shame, re-purpose stress, and achieve greater happiness and bigger goals, I've seen an infinite variety of very creative ways that we all shoot ourselves in the foot from time to time. The ones I've seen most often are:
- impulsively reacting on an emotion without thinking it through or getting more information
- clinging to destructive ideas of pride or honor, and needing to be "right" about your view of "reality"
- making unilateral decisions that effect others without making them aware of your perception that a problem or need exists, and the things you considered before reaching the decision
- conversely, asking permission and taking advice from too many different people before having a clear idea of what goal you are trying to achieve for yourself
- letting emotion dictate thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, perceptions, and behaviors
- allowing fear of rejection or disapproval persuade you into withdrawing requests for what you need and want
- going to the wrong well when trying to get your needs met -- some wells are dry, or filled with unhealthy water
- indulging fears and illusions by both giving up too early and hanging on too long
Often our own personal growth can only occur when we take some risks. The first step in a growth process is to take the risk of seeing yourself clearly -- what commitments do you keep to yourself and others, and how can you do better? Hold yourself accountable to self-growth, instead of being run by self-sabotage.
The second step is to take the risk of doing one thing differently today and tomorrow and the next day -- identify your favorite or most frequently used sabotaging habit, and do the opposite for a growthful change.
There's nothing more freeing and empowering than taking the small risks that help move your forward toward your goals, whether those goals are in personal life, in business, or in relationships.
So tell me, what will you commit to doing differently today?
2 comments:
Absolutely right! All those varieties of self-sabotage are manifestations of chakras 1, 2, and 3. What I tell my clients if is if the would just give up low self-esteem and deep self-hatred, everything else would fall into place.
Ah Pixie, if it were only that easy. :) You're right, but so few people can "just give up."
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