Are You Suffering From TMI Paralysis?

TMI -- Too Much Information. It's one thing to gather the facts you need to know the choices you have. It quite another to drown in tangential and irrelevant material.

But how can you know when enough is enough? Start with becoming aware of what process will work best for you.

If you tend to be more intuitive than logical, tune in to your inner sense of when you know all you need.

• Seek out the feeling or sensation or inner knowing that you've hit upon the right amount, or the best direction. Then stop the gathering.

If you prefer a goal-oriented approach, start with being clear about the end result you want -- what's your purpose for gathering information? What decision needs to be made with it? What factors do you need to learn about in order to make that decision or move in the direction of the desired result?

• Search for info to fit your criteria, then stop when start seeing the same advice more than once.

If a preponderance of evidence approach works best for you, start with a pro and con list. You might frame it this way: If I find 5 pieces of info in favor and 3 pieces against, the pros win.

• Set your criteria for what constitutes a pro and a con, do your search, and stop gathering when you reach your pre-set number.

If you have a different process, I'd love to hear about it. Oh, yeah, there's another method right there -- asking others what they know or do. Then have a way to determine if that method would work for you.

2 Forms of Confidence Erosion

The other night President Obama talked about timidity passing for wisdom. That got me thinking.

How many times have you talked yourself into waiting, or taking a smaller step forward than you could? Was it a wise choice, or simply avoidance prompted by lack of real self-confidence?

Procrastination and an over-abundance of caution erode self-confidence. Confidence -- rather than being a prerequisite -- is the outcome of taking risks. If you make a habit of timidity, your confidence evaporates.

Real wisdom is nurtured by gaining new knowledge that only experimenting and seeing what happens can provide.

Another form of confidence erosion comes about when we keep doing the same thing over and over again, achieving poor or no results, but expecting something different.

While persistence is a very important quality for success, disappointment that comes from repeatedly failing in your efforts will be quite destructive to your sense of confidence.

Failure in itself is not terrible. It's simply a piece of feedback that another approach, new skills, different resources, or other help, etc, is needed.

Practical wisdom is gained by evaluating what worked, what didn't, and designing a new plan to maximize the one and minimize the other.

Knowing that timidity, procrastination, cautious avoidance, repetitive disappointment are the prescription for eroding self-confidence, what will you change today to gain real, practical wisdom instead?

Why 9-9-09 is Auspicious for Endurance

If there is anything you need to do that will require a goodly amount of perseverance, today is the day to start.

If there are new habits you've been waiting to establish, today is the day to commit.

If there are promises you need to make to yourself or someone else, today is the day to manifest their enduring outcome.

Why?

Because in the ancient science of numerology the date 9-9-09 won't come around again for at least 100 years -- not until Sept 9th, 2109. And if you like further symbolic associations, because in Chinese the word nine sounds very similar to the word meaning long-lasting.

Nine is also the number of completions, finishing what you started, harvesting what you've sown. Thus actions taken on 9-9-09 are likely to be seen through to the end, no matter what.

I'm told, however, that in the Japanese language, the word for nine is similar to the word for suffering. Nine is not such a welcomed concept, possibly signifying loss of something that has existed for a long time. In which case, we might think of today as the time to:

• let go of old attitudes or actions that no longer serve you
• halt what you've been fighting against, or have been in denial about
• end reluctance to follow through, forgive, or make peace

What will you start with the intention to be long lasting?
What will you end with the realization that it's time is over?

A Role Model and 5 Keys for Reinventing Yourself

This morning I caught a segment on the Today Show about Claire Cook who -- in her mid 40s -- wrote her first novel in long hand, sitting in a minivan outside her daughter's 5 am swim practices. Now that's the ultimate in focus and dedication.

Her second novel was sold as an endearing movie you probably saw: Must Love Dogs with Diane Lane and John Cusack. Wow, and that's what happens when you move forward with belief in yourself.

Claire Cook is the epitome of midlife reinvention. She'll tell you herself: success like this doesn't just happen.

One thing stands up and shouts when you look at her website and blog. This is a woman who has unleashed her true self. And she's having the time of her life spreading her reinvention message. Her advice (slightly reinterpreted by me) for all of us midlife women is:

1. Don't pay attention to others' negativity about your dreams
2. Believe -- in yourself, and in being the dark horse winner
3. Live in insatiable desire for doing the work, not for the success it will bring
4. Root yourself in your own strengths -- let go of being driven to please everyone else
5. Find and follow your most vibrant passion -- be dogged in keeping after your One Best Talent

What are you yearning for? Are you secretly longing to reinvent your life before it's too late?

Then take stock of your strengths and talents, capture those lost hours spent waiting or in pursuit of meaningless trivia, prioritize yourself, and make it happen. Get a coach, if need be, to keep yourself on track.

You owe it to yourself.

How Do You Show Up?

It's often said in the coaching world that how you engage in anything is how you engage with everything.

The statement is talking about showing up alive in your life, being in alignment with your own values and integrity, and keeping your commitments to yourself as well as to others. I'm all for that.

Showing up is another way of saying: paying your dues, making the effort, doing what's necessary to get where you say you want to be. How do you show up for yourself, for your dreams, your goals?

Confidence is linked to showing up. Those of us who are shy may have difficulty showing up in social situations, and that robs us of the chance to build confidence in our social skills.

Showing up is about trying, failing, and coming back to try again. It's not about being perfect or compulsive, but simply making the best effort we can, over and over again, every chance we are willing to take.

Ask yourself what you really want and when you'd ideally like to have it. Then ask yourself how you show up to work for it.

If the effort you're putting in is equal to the goal, keep doing what you're doing while also looking for ways to do it better, smarter, easier, and faster.

If you aren't showing up for what you want, it's not likely you'll ever have it. It's up to you. How are you spending your daily efforts?